Getting That Homework Organized

By Troy L Parrish MA LCPC


        Your child just can not seem to get their school work organized, and when you help them get it organized it does not stay organized very long.  They are beginning to suffer academically and are continually having to deal with getting into some type of trouble for failing to take care of their responsibilities.  You have tried to encourage them, you have scolded them, you have grounded them and you certainly have tried to show them how to be more organized but nothing helps.  What to do?

        These type of students often fail to have the strong sense of internal structure that allows them to create the necessary order in their work lives to be able to fully tap into their abilities and consequently underachieve.  Add to this the frustration that the adults in the life of this child and you get a child who not only has difficulty but will actively resist help because he or she is tired of being told how they are failing.  At this point of active resistance, the attitude being displayed by the child becomes the focus and their struggle to get some order in their lives is overlooked.  

        Obviously, if the problem has gotten to the point that there is active resistance, it becomes necessary to work on encouragement and relationship building in order to decrease the defensive behavior.  Once that defensive behavior is reduced, the task of providing external structure begins.  As noted earlier, this type of child lacks the internal ability to provide the necessary structure to be able to tap the majority of their potential.  We all have, when functioning well, a fair ability to set priorities, estimate time, stay focused, be decisive when necessary, allocate our mental and physical resources and set limits.  When these abilities are compromised within an individual it becomes necessary to create some form of external structure for that individual in order for them to thrive.  What can a parent do to help their child become more organized?

        The first step is to create a strong sense of routine.  In our busy lives we have a tendency to be going a number of different directions and often no two evenings are the same.  Yes, every Tuesday we go to piano, but we do not go to piano every evening, but on some nights we go to soccer, or band, or dance, or church, or Boy Scouts, or Girl Scouts, or choir or you name the activity.  This is the opposite of predictability in the mind of a child because every evening is something different.  Daily routines of getting up, doing the same things at the same time, going to bed at the same time, doing school work at the same time, putting things in the same place each and every time, having dinner at the same time, having time allocated for electronic entertainment and allocated time for outside activity are foundational for routine.  Initially, children resist routine but will rather quickly fall into step and oddly enough will become upset when you try to alter the routine.  Unfortunately, one difficulty with establishing this type of routine is that we as parents are not good at living with a strong routine, we dislike it ourselves or we just can not seem to find the energy to stay on top of this effort long enough for it to become a routine.  If you find yourself having difficulty creating routine, write it out in the form of a schedule for yourself and commit to sticking with the schedule for at least a month, preferably six months in order for it to stick.  If you have trouble holding yourself to the commitment ask a friend to hold you accountable.  If you just can not get organized, get some organization coaching from a friend or a professional organization coach.  The routine begins with you.  This routine in turn provides the right environment for a child to tend to his or her school work rather than it being squeezed into a rushed and sometimes chaotic environment.

        In addition to a routine, there is also a need for a structure around the tasks and responsibilities the child has been given.  This means that homework or school work is done at a specific time and at a specific place with particular conditions being present (ie at the dining room table without the television, and at ½ hour past returning home from school).  The work itself should have structure as well.  This would mean that there are time limits for the school work and if necessary time limits for each subject.  It is also important that there be an organizational system for your child to use to keep track of assignments and the work that they complete.  Just like any other structure to take care of things there needs to be a place to put everything and it should be simple and as neat as possible.  It is important that there be a way for you to monitor the structure as it is being put into place.  Often, this structure needs to either be monitored at first directly as it is being used or there needs to be a strong form of accountability in order to assure that the structure is being used.  It is also important that you take the time to teach your child how to use the structure that you are putting into place and be patient as they work to learn the new system.

        When creating structure and routine, it important to try to keep the rules and expectations as simple as possible.  This will allow your child the greatest opportunity to incorporate the new way of doing things.  This will also make it easier for you to enforce and requires less detailed monitoring as there are fewer details to monitor.  Because it easier to monitor it increases the likelihood that the changes will last and your child's study habits and schoolwork will become more organized.